It was January of this year that I first started searching information on adoption. Before that I was still caught up in all the lies. I believed them all, including the ones about being a selfish evil person if I kept my son. I also thought that I would "get over" all the negative feelings. And I tried so hard to feel good about all of it.
Last year at this time I did all I could not to look back at what happened. Now it's all I can think about. Two years ago I was pregnant and only two weeks to go before his birth. Those people wrapped up in my life like they were always going to be my very best friends. My son's father that has barely said a word about it (and still hasn't). I can't help but find myself jaded deep in depression and postal with rage.
These next couple few weeks are going to be very hard for me. The only thing that I have is my friends that are mothers with the same issues as mine. In a twisted grateful way I'm glad I'm not all alone in this emotional torture. No one can understand like those that are in the same boat.
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2 comments:
I am glad to have you too. I wish we didn't have the need to meet this way but I couldn't ask for a better friend to help me through. I know the next couple of weeks are going to be hell. I will hold you the whole way. Any time you need me day or night I am here. I know you will be doing the same for me soon. I love you my honey bunny!!!
I am glad we meant. I hate under the circumstances we meant; but glad we did. I too; am here; you can call, text; im; just to talk, scream; whatever you need. You all just wre there for me a few weeks ago. Know I am sending you all lots, and lots of hugs.
Kell
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